Sometimes I felt useless, I'm always not the first one to be there, I'm always the one venting all my angers at them, and moreover, giving advisers and cousells is one of the hardest things for me! I don't know why, it's so hard for me to understand my love ones! Isit because im not making effort? I think so... I really think that I don't do much as part of a friend, what had I done for so many years?:

1) I only clown, make them laugh some times:D

2) I only tried to protect them as much as I can, in class especially.

3) I dont betray friends.

I must really learn how to make initiative for them, give in more for them, and equalize my love and care for my circles of friends! Sorry darling precious, I always make you shed tears alone :'(

To be honest, I've been realising this long ago, it's hard to speak to you at times compared with other friends, maybe e closest and e one you love more will create more barriers in talking things out, you tend to scare to talk to her, cause every word you said may hurt her. And afterthat, I would when speechless! What is this D:

But I hope even though I can't be your adviser, I can still be your listener okay? At least pei you go shout, when crazy, let e stress out, whatever things I can do, and maybe a lil bit of cheer you up la:DD

Yesterday also had a tiiffs with baby, sometimes I just hate it to feel that I can't lose him more. I feel so insecured, any time you can just feel that, that person you love can just leave you alone when you need him! After that I just feel like hanging that phone away, I want you to know that I don't need you att all! I want to let you know that I can be strong at times too . For the past few r/s I had, I had been stepped on my head, how they treat me, and how I treated them is way too far to expect. Any time they can 2time you, treat you as a toy, feeling fade.

Seriouslly guys can be damm realistic at times !

HAIIX.